Metronidazol

I stress more than I can digest...what do you have to offer anymore?

To not be

What happens when a body replaces a soul and the person you fell in love with no longer exist? Seems near impossible to bring about any kind of happiness, which in turn makes trouble a whole lot easier to get in. Nights are storms, days are winters and sun shines all of two minutes to make you remember...just to make you forget and to introduce you to regret. Suspicions from past convictions remain on the front line of the battlefield, "Never trust your enemy, never let them get to close" and you wonder why its so cold. 30 below. Enough to chill a soul let alone a frame. Distance in time, mind and miles. No difference. They all are the same.

The Calling...

Everytime I think about it...I get the urge. I know for a fact that if I even indulge a little that I will no longer be able to control myself. I wind up in a dark place...waiting for poor lithium to take my place. I feel it. I feel it coming. But I am strong....or so my weakness has me convinced...

Wonder Woman

Sometimes I wish I could take off this cape and use it as a shield to cover me as I ball myself up in a corner to cry.

The Game...

You.

Lithium

Sooner than later the lithium sets in
My eyes grow tired
And the clock tick tocks to the weary beat of my heart
Waiting…
Waiting…
For the next episode
For the next urge
For the next manic act
Thinking…
Thinking…
Calming my mind
Calming my rage
Calming my presence
Expecting…
Expecting…
I laugh expecting the next time lithium will comfort the thoughts
I enjoy the thought of the meeting you again
I cry at the thought of abusing you again…

lol

my tears are for your entertainment

Cake and IceCream

I find it so odd how i attempt to act confused
Playing between the two like i have nothing at all to lose
Telling myself "it isnt a competion, not a choice so...why do i have to choose?"
Cake....IceCream....Cake....IceCream....i think ill stick with the two
Just a little bored, i need something new
No complaints because the full moon wont return until June
Round 1, Round 2 this time who will lose?

My Cupcake

Speak to me as if im not the one you're speaking about. Tell me all and hold back nothing. I like my cupcakes without the delicate icing and colorful sprinkles...

Dr.

I need you...want is not an issue...its need that is...dependency...sir how does this make you feel?

Values

Honesty, Intergrity, Loyalty....what happened to values?
I'm done, nothing can ever compare to what you've done...

Letting Go???

..If you've moved on why are you so involved? If you don't give a damn why do you care? If you're content why are you so jealous?...I sit and ask her as she shakes her head at me and confirms the negatives...

"Nino"

"nino...nino..ninos!" he said. I cried. 1/29/2010 :( 2/5/2010
left alone with only reflections of the memory to face the ugly girl thats smothering me, sitting closer than my pain he knew each tear before it came...

Kind Sir

i know what it feels like to ruin someone elses world...it doesnt feel a bit gratifying...i'm sorry, though words are not enough to express my sorrow nor take away your pain. i love you still

How?

I'm not going to sit here and act like its easy because its not. Its hard. I'm just sitting here wondering how it got this far. How did we get to this point?

Grow the FUCK UP

It amazes me sometimes how childish you can be. You talk and listen tp everybody but me. Even when we've been in this same situation before. What i say goes in one ear and out the other.

I hate you more

you say you hate me? well i hate you more for tricking me and making me fall for the person i thought you were. i hate you for putting me down and making me feel like i wasn't worthy of your presence. i hate you for giving me false hopes that shit would get better. you hate me? i hate you more

Follow your lead? or crerate a path of our own? i refuse to "follow your lead" im a leader not a follower.

where are you?

where are you? i need you and you're no where to be found...why? when you know i need you. why?

Self Esteem Driven by Strangers

you dont know how it feels to feel unwanted. you dont have to force your way into a compliment. you dont have to worry about making someone dissatisfied. you dont.